Hey Mama!
I know it's been a while, but here I am with a long-overdue convo about embracing our beauty and bringing back the spice in our relationships, and this goes for single mamas too (you won't be single forever). This week I will address part 1 of confidence and sex in the bedroom, and next week, I will follow up with some tips and tricks!
Usually, I would make you take me to lunch to get this personal. But I'm going to pretend y'all bought me tacos and get intimate with y'all anyway! I have a feeling we have all struggled with this at some point in time. And guess what, mama, it's okay! But baby, like Stella, it's time to get your groove back; whether you are doing it yourself or your partner is it's time to get it back. Aht aht don't gasp if you're on my page then baby you were already throwing it back, how you think you got them, beautiful babies, in the first place!? Let me tell y'all I didn't struggle with a decreased sex drive right away, but eventually, I started to. How many of you can relate to this? I was doing the most because I was just not in the mood. I was faking periods, faking sleep, or I would pick an argument. Before you say there is no way that it worked, baby, if you don't know me, then you don't know how dedicated I was to being an asshole back then (before marriage). I was so insecure with my body that I hated having sex with the lights on, and I faked a lot to stroke a man's ego; shout out to past partners reading this; I deserve an Oscar, right? Okay, I'm done cuttin up. But for real, mama, I want you to know the mind is a powerful source, and my lack of self-esteem and constantly talking down on myself played a massive role in not wanting to have sex.
Be honest with yourself for a minute. Do you scroll through IG/FB post wishing your body looked like half the influencers we see on social media? I can tell you I do; if you know me, I am forever talking about my lack of ass, like I can't figure out why I wasn't blessed with booty! My husband constantly tells me I have an ass, but mama, if I took his word for it, I'd be in these streets with this pancake ass acting a fool, but I know better (insert your LOL if you feel me). But I say all that to say this, mama, we are our own worse enemy!! We talk down on ourselves; we may not do it publicly or verbally, but 9/10, we think it or wish a specific part of our body was different. And mama, when you don't feel good about yourself, it affects your sex life. And if you're married or in a relationship, sex plays a vital role. My lack of confidence slowed me down in the bedroom and eventually killed any chance of romance because I was focused on the wrong thing. I was too busy picking myself apart; I couldn't see what somebody else saw in me. So what can we do to build our confidence back up and spice up the bedroom
The first step is to stop giving a f**k! Your body is your body!!! Stop thinking if you have this or if you get work done; it will provide you with the confidence you need. It may in the long run but loving yourself exactly where you are right now, that's the real prize!! For the women in relationships, I'm going to keep it 100 with you. Baby, if your man or woman is giving you compliments, take them, do not follow it up with but I'm this or that, it's a turnoff, believe me, I'm so guilty of this, but I'm learning to shut the hell up and accept every compliment I get. To my hardworking, bomb-ass single mama's baby, you are at the stage where you can work on self-love and your confidence! Be that sexy, fabulous woman you remember being! Mama self-confidence is everything in the bedroom and has everything to do with your mind! Mamas its time to gas yourself up! Say it with me mama I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE BODY I GOT AND I AM A BAD BISSSH!!! Once you got the confidence I promise you will be unstoppable! So now where do we begin in the bedroom? For starters, BUY THE GOT DAMN LINGERIE and WEAR it! I don't know how many sets I have bought and didn't wear because I convinced myself I didn't look good in it, but guess what, I don't give a F**K anymore, and neither should you! Wear it and be confident because, mama, you are fierce, sexy, and so much more than what you can see! As moms, we tend to forget we were once and still are desired! Mama's time to rediscover your sexuality, whether with your partner or with toys the opportunities are endless, and a healthy sex life makes for a great stress relief!! And I think we can all agree our job is stressful!!!
So mama, today I challenge you to buy that lingerie set that you have been eyeing! And when it arrives, put it on, look in the mirror, and tell yourself you look amazing! Your confidence starts with you!
XOXO,
Devon