A Setback is Not the End of Your Story; It’s Just a Chapter

Hey Mama!

Whew, it’s been over a month since I last posted! I have been trying to be consistent, but mama, these two classes were doing the most, and I mean that in every way. I signed up for what I thought would be a chill elective. Easy, right? Wrong. Elder Law has been anything but easy. I'm talking deep philosophical debates and hardcore science content. I am reading journal articles on ageism, life extension tech, and cellular regeneration, amongst other topics. I barely made it through middle school science, let alone high school biology; I was googling every other word like it was my full-time job. In addition to the "philosophical course," I was also juggling Common Law (torts), which happens to be my least favorite legal subject. Yesterday, I finished my finals for both courses, and I feel like I have air back in my lungs. But enough about school! Let's dive into this week's topic: How to deal with setbacks, something I know a thing or two about right now.

Where do I even begin? Let me start with the truth. I have been stressed, depressed, and lemon motha f'n zesty, which honestly affects my writing, and being consistent in posting content. The setbacks I've faced over the last eight years have been life-changing. I won't go down memory lane, but I will start with the most current. My most recent adventure was quitting my job. And while I had valid reasons, it didn't make the choice any easier. I always have a backup plan for my backup plan, but this time, there was no plan; just me, mustard seed faith, and a whole lot of uncertainty. The first month after I left my job was easy, but then reality set in. California living is not for the unemployed.

There are days I worry A LOT. I worry that being at my last firm for only five months could raise red flags for future employers; I worry that not having experience as a CA paralegal weakens my chances of getting in the door. To date, I have submitted numerous applications and have only had two interviews. Lately, worry has been a portal to my never-ending list of “doubts and what ifs”. For me, taking a step back from work has felt like the biggest setback. Instead of reminding myself that this season doesn't erase my work ethic, dedication, or what I bring to the table, I have allowed my emotions to guide me. Now, if I am being honest, it took me 65 days to realize my “setback” was a necessary pause. One that gave me space to breathe, recalibrate, and remember that my value isn't tied to a timeline.

So, if you're going through something similar, baby, I figured it out for you… You're welcome!

I know it's hard to hear, but setbacks are part of your journey, not signs of failure. Every dream worth chasing will test you. They don't define you, but your response to them does. Whether it's a detour in your career or a season that feels heavier than usual, every setback carries a message: you're moving, you're learning, and you're still trying. Progress isn't linear. I've had to repeatedly remind myself that growth often happens in the pauses, stillness, and the parts of the journey no one sees.

If you’re struggling today, I want you to try the following:

Pause and Breathe: Take a deep breath. When you are emotionally overwhelmed, it tends to cloud your clarity. Give yourself permission to feel disappointed, but don't let that feeling define you or your direction (I am guilty of this).

Give Yourself Grace: Grace is not a reward for perfection; it's fuel for progress.

Reflect Without Spiraling: Ask yourself what happened. What did this experience teach you about yourself? Reflection isn't about blame.

Create One Small Action Step: Do something today that connects you to your "why." 

Reframe the Narrative: Interrupt the negative voice in your head with a positive thought.

And lastly, BREATHE.

The truth is that some of the most important breakthroughs won't come with applause or validation. They'll come in moments when you choose to keep going despite uncertainty, when you pick yourself back up after disappointment, or when you keep believing in something, even when it's hard to see the finish line. Those are the moments that shape you and prepare you for the success you're working toward. So, if it feels like everything is falling apart, it might be coming together, and you can't see it yet. Behind every person crushing their goals and every success story you admire are moments of doubt, delay, and detour. A setback is not the end of your story; it's just a chapter in your journey, building character. So, keep showing up, keep believing, and keep going!

As always, Mama, I am rooting for you!

I hope you join me next week as we talk about how comparison can sneak in, shake our confidence, and how to take our power back.

With love,

Devon