Rediscovering Joy through Rest and Self-Compassion

Good morning, Mama!

How are you feeling today? It’s the start of a new week, and if you’re reading this, that means you’re alive, and that is a blessing in itself. This Friday, my daughter turns 12, and let me tell you, pre-teens today are a whole different breed. I swear it wasn’t that long ago when I was 12… or at least that’s what I keep telling myself. To make sure she looks fly for her big day, I found myself sitting in a braiding salon at 6 AM on Sunday. The things we do for our kids!

This past week has been relatively smooth as I navigate the SAHM (stay-at-home mom) life while focusing on school. My kids have graciously volunteered me for not one but two field trips, one of which is a high school field trip. Y’all, pray for me. I haven’t been a stay-at-home mom since 2016, and I’ve always said being a stay-at-home mom is one of the hardest jobs. If I am being transparent, I struggled with it back then because not everyone is built for it. I wanted to work because my mindset was if I was not working or working on my goals, then I was lazy. I equated progress with action, movement, and productivity. Looking back, that was a horrible mindset to have in my early twenties. All I can say is growth. Now, I am at a stage in my life where I am learning that resting is not a weakness, nor is it quitting. It’s okay to be driven and want to become successful in all that you do, but there has to be balance. This week's article is going to address how resting is a form of progress, how self-compassion is acknowledging your feelings, and how to find joy again without feeling guilty.

My goals and dreams have always driven me, and they seem to grow bigger every day. The first time I became a stay-at-home mom, I placed my dreams on hold, thinking that I had to choose between being an amazing mother and pursuing my own aspirations. I stopped entirely, not because I lacked ambition but because I simply didn’t know how to balance motherhood, homemaking, and maintaining my own identity. This time around, even though it’s only for a short season, I’m choosing to embrace being home. But more importantly, I’m giving myself something I never allowed before permission to rest. I can finally admit that I had taken on too much and was just surviving. One thing I have come to realize is that rest is a crucial part of my journey.

When you allow yourself to pause, you’re giving your mind and body the care they need to move forward stronger. Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or somewhere in between your body and mind require downtime to recharge. Ignoring the need for rest can lead to burnout, increased stress, and emotional exhaustion. I am 35 years old and just now understand the importance of rest. If you are feeling burnt out, I urge you to rest without guilt. Taking care of yourself allows you to show up as the best version of yourself for you and your family.

One of the biggest lessons I’m learning and, honestly, relearning constantly is self-compassion, especially when making difficult decisions. Doubt is natural, but it doesn’t have to turn into self-criticism. The next time self-doubt creeps in, I want you to pause and ask yourself: Would I speak to a friend who came to you with self-doubt this way, or would you encourage them? You deserve the same kindness, grace, and understanding that you would offer someone else. Remind yourself why you made that decision and honor your reasons. Many times, we don’t allow ourselves to feel emotions without guilt; remember, you are only human, you are not a robot. There will be days you will feel doubt, sadness, and fear, and that’s okay as long as you don’t sit in it. Acknowledge the feelings, then let them pass. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that self-compassion isn’t about avoiding discomfort; it’s about embracing your emotions and responding with kindness.  And you know what? As I work through this, I am also learning to become intentional about joy. When we stop being so hard on ourselves, when we allow ourselves to rest and let go of unrealistic expectations, we create space for joy to return. Joy doesn’t only appear when life is perfect, it thrives when we give ourselves permission to embrace it, even in the middle of the chaos. Stop waiting for the “right time” to feel happy.

Mama, ask yourself: When was the last time you laughed until your stomach hurt? When was the last time you did something just because it made you happy, not because it was productive or necessary? We put so much pressure on ourselves to be everything for everyone else that we forget to nurture our own happiness. Joy can be found in the smallest moments, whether reading a book, listening to a podcast, dancing in the kitchen, or going on a walk. Allow yourself to laugh and embrace life without guilt. At the end of the day, you are more than just your responsibilities. You are allowed to enjoy life, to take a deep breath, and to simply be. So today, I challenge you to embrace rest, extend compassion to yourself, and rediscover the joy that makes life meaningful!

As always, mama, I’m cheering you on! I hope you’ll join me next week as we dive into the importance of prioritizing your mental health and how to break free from overthinking the “what ifs.”

With Love,

Devon