Hey Mama,
Happy Friday! I hope your week has been nothing short of amazing. And when I say amazing, I mean you’ve actually managed to check off items on your to-do list, avoided any surprise sick days with the kids, and set aside a little time for yourself in the midst of your busy schedule. This week’s article is more of a life update. Next week we will jump into the importance of self-compassion, the power of rest, and the journey to rediscovering joy because you deserve all three.
Where do I even start? So much has changed since last year. If you’ve been following along, you know that in 2024, I took a big leap and enrolled in an MLS program with a focus in family and juvenile law. At the time, I was living in North Carolina, working full-time as a family law paralegal. Then, last September, my husband received orders to San Diego, CA. This was one of the hardest moves of my life. My kids (15, 11, and 10) didn’t adjust quite as I had hoped. As a mom, watching your babies struggle and not being able to fix it right away can be heart-wrenching, we went from country bumpkin life to city life. On top of that, I was scrambling to find a job and before-school care, so within two weeks of moving, I threw myself into job applications. The hustle paid off, and I landed multiple interviews and accepted a paralegal position in Carlsbad; at the time, I hadn’t figured out California traffic. My first day of work consisted of an hour-long commute in the morning and an hour and a half to get home. By the time I got home at 6:00/6:30, I was diving straight into schoolwork and mom duties with no time to breathe; I completely ignored the warning signs my mental health was waving at me.
Within a month, I was completely burnt out. But instead of acknowledging it, I pushed through, convincing myself that things would get better. And work? I thought I’d come in, learn the system, and hit the ground running. But California’s legal system is a whole different beast. Coming from North Carolina’s more relaxed legal process, I was not prepared for how much work went into filing just one pleading, let alone learning all the different forms, e-filing, and even down to the legalese. It was as if I was speaking a foreign language. If I could do things over, I wish I would’ve had the opportunity to learn California law first, as it was an extremely tough transition for me. The attorney I worked for was amazing and was one of the firms I first Googled when I began looking for opportunities. But even with that, the stress of work, being a full-time student, parenting, and life was stretching me way too thin. After just four months, I hit a breaking point. I called my sister in tears, struggling with the decision to submit my two weeks because, honestly, leaving felt so much harder than staying.
Not only did I feel like I was failing, but I also felt that if I couldn’t handle all this now, how would I ever achieve my goals? Sometimes, we feel as if we have to push through, “tough it out,” and never quit, but what if walking away is the bravest thing you can do? Choosing yourself, your mental health, and your happiness isn’t giving up; it’s standing up for what you deserve. You don’t need to justify prioritizing your well-being. I won't lie I still struggle with my decision, but I know pushing through was no longer the answer. Now I am not telling you to quit your job. What I am saying is if you are feeling mentally and emotionally drained, overwhelmed, and or stressed, don’t ignore those signs. Pay attention to what your mind and body are telling you. Don’t make the mistake I did by attempting to bury myself in a job that I wasn’t fully invested in. I equated busyness and endurance with success, but real success includes taking care of yourself. I was genuinely unhappy. Before we moved to California, I promised myself I wouldn’t jump into a job right away. I wanted to take the time to get the house in order, make sure the kids were settled, and allow myself some much-needed downtime. When we moved to North Carolina, I had a job lined up before we even arrived, and I never took a break. I was already burnt out before I even realized it, but I kept pushing through, no matter how overwhelmed or exhausted I felt. I convinced myself that if I quit or slowed down, I’d be giving up on my goals and dreams.
Without realizing it, I had placed an invisible deadline on my success, telling myself that if I didn’t reach my goals within a certain timeframe, I was somehow failing. So, instead of prioritizing my well-being physically, emotionally, and mentally, I kept chasing a finish line that I had created for myself. But here’s what I’ve learned: Rest isn’t quitting. Taking care of yourself isn’t failure. And sometimes, slowing down is exactly what you need to move forward. If you’re struggling, take a deep breath and remind yourself it’s okay to set boundaries. It’s okay to choose peace over pressure. Your worth isn’t defined by how long you “push through” It’s defined by the courage you show in prioritizing your happiness, health, and future. So, give yourself the grace to pause, to breathe, and to honor your journey because true success isn’t measured by how fast you get there but by how well you take care of yourself along the way.
As always, Mama, I’m cheering you on! I hope you’ll join me next week as we explore self-compassion, the power of rest, and the journey to rediscovering joy.
With Love,
Devon
1件のコメント