Can Mamas Have it All?
Happy Sunday mama!! It has been a minute, like damn near 9 whole months, whew chileeeee, I need to do better!!! I promise I am going to get my shit together, not today but eventually. But let's get right into it!! Where are my full-time working mamas, baby, this article is for you!! Come help a sista out!! I am here for all the advice, if you got any tips drop it in the comments below!
So where do I begin? About a year ago I applied for a full-time paralegal position at a law firm and got the job (insert your best Cardi B OWWW). If you know me then you know my goal has always been to attend law school and have my legally blond moment, and to be clear, it will happen. Anyway, fast forward to today, y'all I am struggling!!! I wish I could say I have work/home life figured out but between the melt downs and going from 25 to 40 plus hours a week, I have been overwhelmed and stressed the fuck out and that's just keeping it real with you. For starters, getting the kids on the bus and myself ready on time has proven to be an impossible task. I don't know how many times I've had my husband put the kids on the bus so I could be "on time" for work, and I am telling y'all it never fails I still end up leaving after him. This year my neighbors have been a God send, if it wasn't for them, I might've had my Britney Spears moment, lol. As for home-life, it seems almost non-existent; I spend my weekends trying to catch up on cleaning and getting the house in order, which has now become a never-ending task; my need for perfection is one of my biggest character flaws. I have gone from planning and being organized at home to winging it, the struggle is real and believe me, I've questioned my ability to achieve my goals multiple times; but thankfully I have amazing friends and family that are supportive of my dreams.
When I got out of the military, I had the next 6 years of my life planned out, crazy, right? At the time I only had my son (Jalen). The plan was to get an undergrad degree and then attend Harvard and get my Juris Doctor (JD) and become this rock star family law/criminal defense attorney that made a difference in the legal field. Babbbby, oh how the tables turned. I was out in these streets acting like I couldn't get pregnant, and we all know how that story turned out. But here I am 34 attempting to pursue my dreams, and honestly there have been so many times I've wanted to quit. The iconic meltdowns in the shower, the pep talks, the 45 reasons as to why I should give up, and the never-ending self-doubt, if you feel me on this let me get a MMMMHMMMM, we've all been there so, mama you're not alone! It is going on a year, and I am still trying to figure out work, blogging, and home life harmony. Don't get me wrong there are times it feels impossible to have it all without putting one part of my life on the back burner, but if you know me, I have always liked a good challenge.
As a mom we have these dreams, goals everything we want to accomplish, but when we have children so often our dreams are put on hold. When we are finally put in a position to start a career there is so much to consider. Since I've started this new job, my kids have been sick multiple times and I'm not gonna lie; I dread having to contact my boss, because there is always that fear that I'll become invaluable to the company. As a paralegal there is so much on my plate with a lot of time-sensitive deadlines. Fortunately for me, the firm I work for has been understanding when my children are sick. However, it doesn't make it any easier. As mamas we have got to be okay with not completing our task list and I know y'all know what I'm talking about (lol). Let me put it like this, that load of laundry that's not done, oh well, that sink full of dishes you'll live. I'm speaking from experience, there was a time when I was washing dishes at 4:00 am crying because I was exhausted, but I just couldn't let it be. In my honest opinion there is no perfect equation to work life balance but more or less finding work/life harmony and it's going to be trial and error, but that's life.
To all my working mamas, I want you to know you are not alone in the struggle! There are going to be days you want to give up, cry, scream, yell, and all of the above but guess what, you're going to get through it and do you know why; because NOW is your time, you have busted your ass to get to where you are, every obstacle and every set back brought you to this point, and mama, we not going to quit!! Get you some ice cream and cry that shit out and woman up because baby, you're going to accomplish every goal you set because this is your year, and I am rooting for you!! So, the question still stands can we have it all as Mamas? Can we have a career without the guilt? Can we find our work/life harmony? The answer is YES, the FUCK we can, but it won't come without obstacles. If I can give you any advice, mama surround yourself with like-minded people and individuals that support and encourage even at your weakest you and most importantly, DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP!
As always peace and blessings! XOXO, Devon