Updated: Jun 27, 2021
Let me make a disclaimer now this article is not for judgment Patty; we are all grown women. I can't relate to everyone, but I know we all have a sexual appetite! So be free, Mama, and live in it and, most importantly, BE SAFE!!
If you read my article from a couple weeks ago, you know this week's post will bring a little heat and may even turn your night out! If you haven't read Confidence and Sex Part 1, you can read it if you click the bold print! I promise it's a good read! But before I get into different tips and tricks, I got a story for y'all! I'm sure most of you are familiar with the Rose and baby I love me a good vibrator! So I went on a limb and bought the upgraded version of the Rose from Diamond Intimacy. Ladies, I don't know what I was thinking, but baby, I was not ready! This Rose didn't disappoint. For starters, I'm old school. I like a build-up. This toy is like f**k a build-up. I read the instructions, and it said charge last, I believe 1 hour and 30 minutes, what it needs to say is "You will only need 1.5 minutes, RESPECTFULLY!" Mama's, I was not ready; I felt like a damn amateur. I promise I will never forget the words that came out of my husband mouth: Did you pee the bed? I lost all self-control, like get me a pull up now!! I'm a grown-ass woman, and I pissed the bed (insert crying emoji)! The moral of this story is, ladies, I'm fin stay in my lane and mind the business that minds me because whew Thron'd baby had me acting like a whole crying ass toddler! Lawd, that felt good to get this off my chest! Do any of you have a rose story, or am I the only amateur who pee-pee the bed? If you’re interested in the Thron'd Rose just click on the Diamond Intamcy link, because baby it won't disappoint. Now that story time is over, Mama, let's talk about getting our mojo back!
How many of you can relate to constantly feeling tired when it's time to get freaky? The picture above is literally how I be (LMAO). As moms, I feel like we have a book of excuses, and my number one excuse is I'm TIRED! But honestly, I usually am! Our partners don't always understand how tiring being a mom can be, and that goes for stay-at-home moms and working moms. Unfortunately, sex plays a significant role in a relationship, and sometimes our partners want it more than we do, which leads to Mama's Book of Excuses (LOL). How many of you tell yourself if your significant other helped out around the house, you would be in the mood? Mama, keep it 100; you know that's a got damn lie, because baby, if I get help around the house, that means I can get to bed faster, if you know me, you know I love my sleep!
After becoming mom, sometimes the romance and excitement dies down in the bedroom, and it becomes a chore because the exhaustion of parenthood is real y'all!! Nod in agreement if you understand what I'm saying. I had gotten to the point I was doing it just to get it out the way, all romance and foreplay was non-existent. But mamas, once I got my bedroom confidence back, it was a game-changer for me! Ladies we have to stop being so hard on ourselves and appreciate our bodies! We are dope magical beings, so break out your shell and get comfortable mama! It's time to bring back the spice that got you them babies in the first place!! So below I listed a few tips that can help spice up the bedroom! For starters communication is everything! My homegirl sent me this questionnaire to do with my husband and y'all this is definitely an icebreaker click this link and print it off and do it with your partner! I can guarantee you are going to learn some things about each other!!
Tip 1: Wear the Lingerie
For starters, mama, if you want to spice up the bedroom, WEAR, THE GOT DAMN LINGERIE! That's Tip 1! Baby, I promise your husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend love you and think you are the finest thing since sliced bread! Don't let Lil Ol FUPA ruin the fun!! Go on, go to your dresser, pull that little number out you bought six months ago, and put it on! Step 2: send the picture! Don't get caught up in the semantics of it being the perfect picture because mama, they will love the initiative.
Tip 2: Send a Sexy Photo
Mamas, send sexy photos. Have fun with it! Your partner may be having a shit day at work, but nothing will brighten the day up than seeing some sexy lingerie pics! Sending pictures builds anticipation, but mama if you not fin to bend it over and touch those toes later on that night, I would hold off on this tip until you know you will follow through! My next tip requires you to open up your mind and be receptive to your partner's needs!
Tip 3: Sex games
Mamas you can go to any adult shop and find games to play with your significant other or make one up. Sex Games make the bedroom fun and can break the awkward silence, but it also helps you understand your partners wants and needs and your own. Plan a date night, and while you're looking for games to spice up the bedroom, don't forget to check out the toy section, which leads me to tip number 4! Honestly, this would be my tip number one, but sometimes you have to start slow and work your way up, and mama that's okay!!
Tip 4: Sex Toys
Where do I even begin?! There is such a variety of toys out there that you can add to the bedroom. I would suggest starting with the basics: vibrators, handcuffs, and bondage. Are you blushing? Don't you are grown! Sex does not have to be boring or a chore! You better get those multiple orgasms! Vibrators are the easiest thing to start out with and the most fun! One thing about adding toys to the bedroom is that it can become a learning experience. Re-learning each other's bodies is a must! Be open to each other's needs mama! Be patient with your man or woman because, baby, sometimes they don't get the sensitivity down there, whewwww chillleeee! I have a story for y'all, but that's for another time. Adding toys enhances pleasure and opens up a whole new world of fun for you and your partner. I'm telling y'all toys will bring the spice to your relationship, and who knows, you may retire the book of mom excuses (too far, right? LOL). Tip number 5 is always the elephant in the room, so let's talk about it!!
Tip 5: Oral Sex
I'm going to keep this plain and simple! This goes for men and women. Y'all, oral sex is a must! I don't care what you say!! I've heard women say their man doesn't like it, or I just receive. Baby, if you receiveth you better giveth you hear me, don't be selfish if you don't know how ask your partner to teach you but baby oral sex is foreplay and build-up to the main event!!! Nowadays, they got all the numbing and edible oils to help you get through. Have fun with this, mamas; get creative it doesn't have to be boring oral sex (look at it as an art and craft session, you know we love a good craft, LMAO). So go on and throw their legs on your shoulders, man or woman, it's time to have some fun! Now tip 6 is quick and fun, you see what I did there?
Tip 6: Quickies/Change of Scenery
I'm not going to lie, mama when I think of quickies, I roll my eyes. But quickies can also be fun, you know when you get that sense of excitement like you shouldn't be doing something but you doing it anyway? I get the same feeling when I'm eating cookies (LOL). Well, quickies are just that! Now I'm not telling you to go out in town and get charged with public indecency (I would never...wink wink ). I'm saying sneaking around in your house can be a form of a quickie or in the back yard; if the neighbors aren't close. Got a laundry room try it, got an office space, try it, got a basement, try it, the shower, try it!! Basically, anywhere that isn't the bedroom! So now that we have gotten through the first six let me close you out with my last piece of advice: CHANGE POSITIONS!
Tip 7: Change Positions
Try New positions! I promise there is more than missionary, reverse cowgirl, and the fan-favorite doggy style! I know are knees aren't what they use to be but trying new positions can be fun! You can also learn what you and your partner don‘t like! It not only opens up communication about sex which is much needed; it also builds on intimacy. Trying new positions also creates vulnerability between each other but in a good way. At the end of the day, bringing back the spark could be as easy as trying new positions together and communicating what your sexual interests are. Lastly and most importantly, consider this a bonus tip, shower together when it's close to bedtime! Showering wakes you up and can be a form of intimacy; wash each other, get freaky; it's all about foreplay. Mamas believe me I still have my days when I'm tired, thats inevitable, but it is nowhere near what it use to be. Remember, ladies we all deal with this at some point, but it gets better! Make time for sex y'all! Schedule it if you have to. I know you probably laughed at that but guess what at least you are making an effort!!
So today, mamas, I challenge you not to say I'm tired tonight no matter how tired you are!! Take a shower with your partner or plan a date to an adult store! Bring back the romance and spice not only for your partner but for yourself as well! You deserve it! I'd love to hear in the comments below what you did to bring back the spice in your relationship! As always, peace and blessings!